Love Meditation - 1

The Buddha offered many meditations on love. When a group of monks told him that the spirits living near their forest monastery were causing others to suffer, the Buddha taught the Metta Sutta (Discourse on Love):

He or she who wants to attain peace should practice being upright, humble, and capable of using loving speech. He or she will know how to live simply and happily, with senses calmed, without being covetous and carried away by the emotions of the majority. Let him or her not do anything that will be disapproved of by the wise ones. [And this is what he or she contemplates]:

“May everyone be happy and safe, and may their hearts be filled with joy.


“May all living beings live in security and peace, beings who are frail or strong, tall or short, big or small, visible or not visible. Near or far away, already born or yet to be born. May all of them dwell in perfect tranquility.
“Let no one do harm to anyone. Let no one put the life of anyone in danger. Let no one, out of anger or ill will, wish anyone harm.


“Just as a mother loves and protects her only child at the risk of her own life, we should cultivate boundless love to offer to all living beings in the entire cosmos. Let our boundless love pervade the whole, universe, above, below, and across. Our love will know no obstacles; our heart will be absolutely free from hatred and enmity. Whether standing or walking, sitting or lying, as long as we are awake, we should, maintain this mindfulness of love in our own heart. This is the noblest way of living.


“Free from wrong views, greed, and sensual desires, living in beauty and realizing perfect understanding, those who practice boundless love will certainly transcend birth and death.”

After several months of reciting and practicing the Metta Sutta, the monks came to understand the sufferings of the troubled spirits. As a result, the spirits began to practice, also. They became filled with the energy of love, and the whole forest was peaceful.

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Extracts from :

Sutta Nipata, Vol. 1, Sutra 8.

Equanimity (Upeksha)

The fourth element of true love is upeksha, which means equanimity, non-attachment, non-discrimination, even-mindness, or letting go. Upa means” over,” and iksh means “to look.” You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other. If your love has attachment, discrimination, prejudice, or clinging in it, it is not true love. People who do not understand Buddhism sometimes think upeksha means indifference, but true equanimity is neither cold nor indifferent. If you have more than one child, they are all your children. Upeksha does not mean that you don’t love. You love in a way that all your children receive your love, without discrimination.

Upeksha has the mark called samatajnana, “the wisdom of equality,” the ability to see everyone as equal, not discriminating between ourselves and others. In a conflict, even though we are deeply concerned, we remain impartial, able to love and to understand both sides. We shed all discrimination and prejudice, and remove all boundaries between ourselves and others. As long as we see ourselves as the one who loves and the other as the one who is loved, as long as we value ourselves more than the others or see ourselves different from others, we do not have true equanimity. We have to put ourselves “into the other person’s skin” and become one with him if we want to understand and truly love him. When that happens, there is no “self” and no “other.”

Without upeksha, your love may become possessive. A summer breeze can be very refreshing; but if we try to put it in a tin can so we can have it entirely for ourselves, the breeze will die. Our beloved is the same. He is like a cloud, a breeze, a flower. If you imprison him in a tin can, he will die. Yet many people just do that. They rob their loved one of his liberties, until he can no longer be himself. They live to satisfy themselves and can use their loved one to help them fulfill that. This is a not loving; it is destroying. You say you love him, but if you do not understand his aspirations, his needs, his difficulties, he is in prison called love. True love allows you to preserve your freedom and the freedom your beloved.

Joy (Mudita)

The third element of true love is mudita, joy. True love always brings joy to ourselves and the one we love. If our love does not bring joy to both of us, it is not true love.
Commentators explain that happiness relates to both body and mind, whereas joy relates primarily to mind. This example is often given: someone traveling in the desert sees a stream cool water and experiences joy. On drinking the water, he experiences happiness.

Ditthadhamma sukhavihari means “dwelling happily in the present moment.” We don’t rush to the future; we know that everything is here in the present moment. Many small things can bring tremendous joy, such as the awareness that we have eyes in good condition. We just have to open our eyes and we can see the blue sky, the violet flowers, the children, the trees, and so many other kinds of forms and colors. Dwelling in mindfulness, we can touch these wondrous and refreshing things, and our mind of joy arises naturally. Joy contains happiness and happiness contains joy.

Some commentators have said that mudita means “sympathetic joy “or altruistic joy,” the happiness we feel when other are happy. But that is too limited .It discriminates between self and other. A deeper definition of mudita is a joy that is filled with peace and contentment. We rejoice when we see other happy, but we rejoice in our own well being as well. How can we feel joy for anther person when we do not feel joy for another person when we do not feel joy for ourselves? Joy is for everyone.