Love Meditation - 1

The Buddha offered many meditations on love. When a group of monks told him that the spirits living near their forest monastery were causing others to suffer, the Buddha taught the Metta Sutta (Discourse on Love):

He or she who wants to attain peace should practice being upright, humble, and capable of using loving speech. He or she will know how to live simply and happily, with senses calmed, without being covetous and carried away by the emotions of the majority. Let him or her not do anything that will be disapproved of by the wise ones. [And this is what he or she contemplates]:

“May everyone be happy and safe, and may their hearts be filled with joy.


“May all living beings live in security and peace, beings who are frail or strong, tall or short, big or small, visible or not visible. Near or far away, already born or yet to be born. May all of them dwell in perfect tranquility.
“Let no one do harm to anyone. Let no one put the life of anyone in danger. Let no one, out of anger or ill will, wish anyone harm.


“Just as a mother loves and protects her only child at the risk of her own life, we should cultivate boundless love to offer to all living beings in the entire cosmos. Let our boundless love pervade the whole, universe, above, below, and across. Our love will know no obstacles; our heart will be absolutely free from hatred and enmity. Whether standing or walking, sitting or lying, as long as we are awake, we should, maintain this mindfulness of love in our own heart. This is the noblest way of living.


“Free from wrong views, greed, and sensual desires, living in beauty and realizing perfect understanding, those who practice boundless love will certainly transcend birth and death.”

After several months of reciting and practicing the Metta Sutta, the monks came to understand the sufferings of the troubled spirits. As a result, the spirits began to practice, also. They became filled with the energy of love, and the whole forest was peaceful.

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Extracts from :

Sutta Nipata, Vol. 1, Sutra 8.

Equanimity (Upeksha)

The fourth element of true love is upeksha, which means equanimity, non-attachment, non-discrimination, even-mindness, or letting go. Upa means” over,” and iksh means “to look.” You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other. If your love has attachment, discrimination, prejudice, or clinging in it, it is not true love. People who do not understand Buddhism sometimes think upeksha means indifference, but true equanimity is neither cold nor indifferent. If you have more than one child, they are all your children. Upeksha does not mean that you don’t love. You love in a way that all your children receive your love, without discrimination.

Upeksha has the mark called samatajnana, “the wisdom of equality,” the ability to see everyone as equal, not discriminating between ourselves and others. In a conflict, even though we are deeply concerned, we remain impartial, able to love and to understand both sides. We shed all discrimination and prejudice, and remove all boundaries between ourselves and others. As long as we see ourselves as the one who loves and the other as the one who is loved, as long as we value ourselves more than the others or see ourselves different from others, we do not have true equanimity. We have to put ourselves “into the other person’s skin” and become one with him if we want to understand and truly love him. When that happens, there is no “self” and no “other.”

Without upeksha, your love may become possessive. A summer breeze can be very refreshing; but if we try to put it in a tin can so we can have it entirely for ourselves, the breeze will die. Our beloved is the same. He is like a cloud, a breeze, a flower. If you imprison him in a tin can, he will die. Yet many people just do that. They rob their loved one of his liberties, until he can no longer be himself. They live to satisfy themselves and can use their loved one to help them fulfill that. This is a not loving; it is destroying. You say you love him, but if you do not understand his aspirations, his needs, his difficulties, he is in prison called love. True love allows you to preserve your freedom and the freedom your beloved.

Joy (Mudita)

The third element of true love is mudita, joy. True love always brings joy to ourselves and the one we love. If our love does not bring joy to both of us, it is not true love.
Commentators explain that happiness relates to both body and mind, whereas joy relates primarily to mind. This example is often given: someone traveling in the desert sees a stream cool water and experiences joy. On drinking the water, he experiences happiness.

Ditthadhamma sukhavihari means “dwelling happily in the present moment.” We don’t rush to the future; we know that everything is here in the present moment. Many small things can bring tremendous joy, such as the awareness that we have eyes in good condition. We just have to open our eyes and we can see the blue sky, the violet flowers, the children, the trees, and so many other kinds of forms and colors. Dwelling in mindfulness, we can touch these wondrous and refreshing things, and our mind of joy arises naturally. Joy contains happiness and happiness contains joy.

Some commentators have said that mudita means “sympathetic joy “or altruistic joy,” the happiness we feel when other are happy. But that is too limited .It discriminates between self and other. A deeper definition of mudita is a joy that is filled with peace and contentment. We rejoice when we see other happy, but we rejoice in our own well being as well. How can we feel joy for anther person when we do not feel joy for another person when we do not feel joy for ourselves? Joy is for everyone.

Compassion (Karuna)

The second aspect of true love is karuna, the intention and capacity to relieve and transform suffering and lighten sorrows. Karuna is usually translated as “compassion,” but that is not exactly correct. “Compassion” is composed of com (“together with”) and passion (“to suffer”). But we do not need to suffer to remove suffering from another person. Doctors, for instance, can relieve their patients suffering without experiencing the same disease in themselves. If we suffer too much, we may be crushed and unable to help. Still, until we find a better word, let us use “compassion” to translate karuna.

To develop compassion in ourselves, we need to practice mindful breathing, deep listening, and deep looking. The Lotus Sutra describes Avalokiteshvara as the bodhisattva who practices “looking with the eyes of compassion and listening deeply to the crisis of the world.” Compassion contains deep concern. You know the other person is suffering, so you sit close to her. You look and listen deeply to her to be able to touch her pain. You are in deep communication with her, and that alone brings some relief.

One compassionate action or thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring them joy. One word can give comfort and confidence, destroy doubt, help someone avoid a mistake, reconcile a conflict, or open the door to liberation. It can save a person’s life or help them take advantage of a rare opportunity. One thought can do the same, because thought always leads to words and actions. With compassion in our heart, every thought, word, and deed can bring about a miracle.

When I was novice, I could not understand why, if the world is filled with suffering, the Buddha has such a beautiful smile. Why isn’t he disturbed by the suffering? Later I discovered that Buddha had enough understanding, calm, and strength; this is why the suffering does not over him. He is able to smile to suffering because he knows ho to take care of it and to help transform it.. We need to be aware of the suffering, but retain our clarity, calmness and strength so we can help transform the situation. The ocean of tears cannot drown us if karuna is there. That is why the Buddha’s smile is possible.

Love ( Maitri )

The first aspect of true love is maitri, the intention and capacity to offer joy and happiness. To develop the capacity we have to practice looking and listening deeply so that we know what to do and what not to do to make others happy. If you offer your beloved something they does not need, that is not maitri. you have to see her real situation or what you offer might bring them unhappiness.

In Southeast asia, many people are extremely fond of a fruit called durian, or you could even say that they are addicted to it. It smells extremely strong and when some people finish eating it, they put their skin under bed so they continue to smell it. But, what if I find it horrible, the fruit, and someone say that I love you so much and i would like you to eat some of the durian. I would Suffer. You love me, You want me to be happy, but you force me to eat the fruit. This is an example of love without understanding. Your intention is good, but you have to correct the understanding.

Without understanding, your love is not true love. You must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations and suffering of the one you love. We all need love, love brings joy and well being. It is as natural as the air, we are loved by the air; we need fresh air to be happy and well.In order to be loved, we have to love, which mean we have to understand. For our love to continue, we have to take appropriate action or non action to protect our beloved.

Maitri can be translated as "love" or "loving kindness". Some Buddhist teachers prefer "loving kindness," as they find "love" too dangerous. Even words sometime get sick and we have to heal them. "Love" has been used to refer appetite or desire, as in " I love burgers". "Love" is a beautiful word, we have to restore its meaning. The word "maitri" has roots word mitra which means friend. In Buddhism, the primary meaning of love is friendship.

We all have the seeds of love in us. We can develop this wonderful source of energy nuturing the unconditional love that does not expect anything in return. When we understand someone deeply, even someone who has done us harm, we cannot resist loving him or her.
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SHAKYAMUNI BUDDHA  declared that the Buddha of the next eon will be named " Maitreya, the Buddha of love."

The Four Immeasurable Minds

Practicing the immeasurable Mind of Love extinguishes

anger in the hearts of the living beings. Practicing

the immeasurable Mind of Compassion extinguishes

all sorrows and anxieties in the hearts of living beings.

Practicing the immeasurable Mind of Joy extinguishes

sadness and joylessness in the hearts of living beings.

Practicing the immeasurable Mind of Equanimity extinguishes

hatred, aversion and attachment in the heart of living beings.

If we learn the ways to practice love, compassion, joy and equanimity, we will know how to heal the illness of anger, sorrow, insecurity, sadness, hatred, loneliness and unhealthy attachments. These are the teachings of love given by Lord Buddha, which are clear, scientific and applicable. Every one of us can benefit from these teachings. According to Buddha Love, Compassion, Joy and Equanimity are the very nature of an enlightened person. They are the four aspects of true love within ourselves and within everyone and everything.

Happiness is only possible with true love. True love has the power to heal and transform the situation around us and bring a deep meaning to our lives. There are people who understand the nature f true love and how to generate and nurture it.

How to practice them? Well, find the feelings within yourself, that’s the greatest aspect of it. Else be here for the posts to follow. :)

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